Happy Wednesday and happy Fourth of July!
I hope you are getting an opportunity to celebrate with your loved ones today. I have to work this morning but after that I will be in the pool and having all the fun!
In the meantime, let’s talk about the less fun truths of being a mom who runs…aka The Mother Runnin’ Truth.
Today it’s all about mom guilt.
Now obviously mom guilt isn’t reserved for moms who run/workout/etc. I think just about anyone who is a mom has felt guilty about a choice they have made as a parent. Worse yet, I think a lot of us have also been made to feel guilty by people who really don’t deserve to have any say at all in how we parent (I’m looking at you grocery store strangers!)
But. Let’s narrow it down to mom guilt as it relates to running, or at least the ways it has in my experience.
- I feel guilty that I am prioritizing my hobby over spending time with Oliver
- This is bull and we all know that right? I know I do, but sometimes it is realllllly hard to remember. Oliver does enjoy stroller rides at this point in his life, which is awesome, but I also occasionally start to feel like I am a bad mom for not spending more of my limited free time playing with him and interacting rather than just pushing him along. If you give mom guilt the opportunity, it will turn everything around and make you doubt all your choices. The truth is that I am doing something that is good for me and gives me the mental boost I need to be a better mom in the long run. How many times have we been told that you cannot pour from an empty cup? People say it because it is true friends. I know I have a hard time remembering it sometimes. But it really really is the truth.
- I feel guilty for wishing my body looked like it used to and could do what it used to do
- This one is a two parter:
- I feel guilty because I had it pretty easy. My body has “bounced back” really well and people who don’t know me all that well probably wouldn’t even notice a difference. I feel guilty for being upset when there are women out there working so much harder than me and struggling more to see results. Someone always has it worse so I shouldn’t complain right? The struggles of others doesn’t necessarily diminish my own struggles though. It is hard for everyone in some way.
- I feel guilty because there is this idea that I am supposed to show unending love to my body for what it accomplished. And I truly am grateful and amazed that I was able to grow and give birth to another human. Like seriously, how crazy is that? But just because I love what my body did doesn’t mean I can’t sometimes wish I looked like I used to and that muscles worked and moved the way they used to. If you aren’t positive about your body all the time there is a lot of pressure to change your mind. Body positivity is such a pervasive concept these days (which is awesome) that you can feel almost wrong for asking your body to change.
- It’s a vicious cycle to be totally honest. I start to feel guilty and inadequate because I sometimes make running a priority. But the best way for me to get out of that negative mental place is to go for a run. And around and around we go right?
At the end of the day, running does not make you a bad mom. It doesn’t necessarily make you a good mom either (sorry friends, no shortcuts haha). But if it is what makes you a better version of yourself then it is something worth pursuing. Because a better you can show up more for your family and you child….and yourself. Because you are important and worth it too.
That’s what I tell myself anyways. And it usually works eventually! I do not regret being the mom that runs. I do not regret being the mom that makes my health a priority. Are there days/weeks where I struggle with guilt? Obviously…or I wouldn’t be writing this right? But it is so worth it.
I want to hear from you:
Do you struggle with mom guilt?
How do you get yourself out of the mom guilt funk?