Self Worth: why walking out on my job was my best decision

So if you follow me on Twitter, you might have seen my post on Friday that I quit my job.  This is the first time I have ever left a job without giving my two-week notice. Instead, I walked out I the middle of the day.

Without getting into too many details, my employer was also the owner of the business (along with his wife) and I was the only employee.  Before accepting the job I knew them both from a community organization.  Shortly after getting the job they asked me questions about my family and, through those conversations, found out that I do not speak to my father or brother.  I thought they were good people and I am a pretty open book, so I didn’t think twice about sharing that information.  It is certainly not something I feel the need to hide and it really has no impact on my life at this point.

Well I was alone in the office with Mr. Employer and, for the third time in two and a half months, he was red in the face, screaming insults at me and accusing me of not liking him because, in his words “I remind you of your daddy.”  I guess the whole part where I might not like him or trust him because of his tendency to scream insults at me had escaped him.  This time he took it even further and started insulting my relationship with my husband (whom he has met twice, briefly) and making other wild accusations.

Now I have a history of totally shutting down when people yell at me; always have, probably always will.  Not general yelling, but the kind that makes you feel like the person is on the edge of hitting you.  The really direct kind.  I did muster up enough courage to tell him that his comments were completely out of line and unacceptable to which he responded that if I didn’t like it I could go.  So I did.  I packed up my few belongings from my desk (I am still really upset that I forgot my giant bag of Cheez-Its in the drawer) and walked out.  I was shaking and crying by the time I got to my car to tell my mom what had happened.

Now I am not saying all this to get pity or point fingers or anything like that.  My point is this: I felt a little guilty for quitting.  My husband and I aren’t entirely in a position to live on one income and, as I am sure anyone reading this has already noticed, the job market is a little snug at the moment!  The thing is, I think a lot of employers are counting on that.  While this is obviously the worst position I have ever found myself in while working, I have had plenty of experiences where I (and my co-workers) were under-paid and under-appreciated in general because it’s a lot easier to find new employees than it is to find a new job.

But I just want this to be a little message out into the universe that you are worth so much more. We all are.  There are other opportunities out there and we all have the right to walk away from a situation where we are being harassed in any way.  I have had the weekend to think it over (and start filling out job applications) and I am so much happier.  I feel like I can breathe again and I know that better things are coming!

Thanks for sticking with me through this really long brain-dump of a post!  I will be coming back soon with a Ragnar Luckenbach recap and a few other fun announcements….which I hope will include a new job announcement before too long!

Have you ever walked out on a job?  Have you ever wished you did?  Let me know 🙂

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